Hello, how be's it? So, I noticed that my last few posts were on the depressing side. Actually, I didn't really notice until my beloved Amigo K-roKK alerted me to the fact that my blogs were more emo than a pair of Macbeth shoes. I have since decided to lighten things up a smidgen or two. Here it goes.:)
Thanksgiving was awesome! I got to spend it with one of my closest friends, Alex A.K.A Grande! I love that guy. The way we picked up was so seamless, you couldn't tell we hadn't seen each other in two years. Se kids, that's called true friendship. I ate dinner with his family (who were awesome), slept in a multi- million dollar house (also awesome) and got schooled in Texas Hold 'Em (sucky, yet still kinda awesome). All and all, a great holiday to say the least.
On top of all that, I get to spend Christmas with my family. To most, that seems pretty ordinary, but when your family lives roughly 800 miles away, it can be a daunting task to see them. Man, I remember one Christmas morning, we went to Denny's, and were so loud that people left! That's just how we do's it baby!
Lastly, I'm happy I finally found a place to live in Los Angeles. After I'm done with Santa Barbara, I'm on my way to Burbank to live with My buddy Alex. I'm beyond stoked. :) I mean, trying to be an actor is tough(except for certain lucky individuals...grrrrrr) but having one of my best friends, nay, my wing man by my side will prove to be an uplifting and pleasant element for sure.
Well, that's all for now. I hope this dose of three quarter Mexican goodness was worth the read. See ya folks.
PEACE,
@
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
The Maze Of You and I
" I struggle with a lot of things in my life. My faith. Love. The acceptance of others.All the stuff that makes life worth living. I read this one day and, for some reason, it helped me. It's kinda morose, but I like it. So, I decided to post it. Have at it." - Adam
"The Maze of you and I"
You. You are the love of my life. You ARE the bane of my existence. You helped me through one of the stages of being a man, then you threw me down into the worst heartbreak I've ever felt.
You brought me so much Joy. Your eyes would glow when I came into the room. I never understood why, but I was always glad you did. You said you loved me, and you meant it. You wanted to be with me, and you meant it. You were the only one for me, and I meant it.
You’ve brought me so much pain. Your eyes were empty when you looked at me, then you looked away. I understood why…to an extent. You never quite looked at me the same after a while, and I was so sad you didn’t.
You are the one I NEED. You are the one person, the one thought, the one dream that I can’t seem to get out of my head. At least once a day, I think of YOU. I rarely ever cross your mind. I can’t stand to think of you, yet I get scared when I forget parts of you. You were so perfect that it scared me. I was so close that it scared you.
You are the one thing that I feel I need to be a better man. You are my angel, my sanity. You are the one thing keeping me from being My OWN man. You’re my albatross, my insanity incarnate. You are both of these and I can’t decide which is truth.
You’re the reason I strive to better myself. You’re the reason I push, and push, and push till I can’t move. Thinking of you makes me reach higher. Talk longer. You bring the Joy to my aspirations. Sometimes, it seems that all that I work, all that I hope to accomplish , is so I have something to share with you at the end of the day. You are why I want to succeed.
You’re the one I hope to prove wrong. You’re the person I want to look at, when all is said and done, say
“ I did it without you.”
You are the one thing that haunts me. The force that chases me, so I have no other choice but to move forward, away from you. Seeing you looking down at me is my greatest fear and my darkest anger. I will die before that happens.
I will never be the one you want. I will never know why…because you have and will never produce the words to tell me. I was your greatest mistake, in all meanings of the word. I will never accept the blame for the walls you put up, but I know it’s all my fault.
You will always be the one I want. You will be my one greatest desire, even when It feels that you’re the last thing I should have. You’re so beautiful and all my thoughts about you are ugly. I hope you fall from grace only so I can catch you and put you back on the pillar where you rightfully belong. I hope you experience pain in your life, yet I have the urge to eliminate ANYONE who might harm you!
When I think of you, I hurt. When you cross my mind, I smile. My heart hurts, my face beams, my fists clench, and my arms open, all at the same time. You drain my spirit. You enrich my soul. You have made me the man I am proud to be. You helped instill in me the very qualities and emotions I guide myself with.
You helped build the monster I have become. Your cold demeanor and your emotionless stance scorned me to the point of no return. You calloused my love for others. You leathered my skin. You took me to the depths and left me for dead. You broke me.
You…thank you. After all this is said, that is what I tell you. You showed me up. You shoved me down. You brought me hate, love, malice, envy, joy, elation…beautiful chaos. Good or bad, you have served as my muse, my one true inspiration. Whether it’s for right or wrong, I move onward because of you.
"The Maze of you and I"
You. You are the love of my life. You ARE the bane of my existence. You helped me through one of the stages of being a man, then you threw me down into the worst heartbreak I've ever felt.
You brought me so much Joy. Your eyes would glow when I came into the room. I never understood why, but I was always glad you did. You said you loved me, and you meant it. You wanted to be with me, and you meant it. You were the only one for me, and I meant it.
You’ve brought me so much pain. Your eyes were empty when you looked at me, then you looked away. I understood why…to an extent. You never quite looked at me the same after a while, and I was so sad you didn’t.
You are the one I NEED. You are the one person, the one thought, the one dream that I can’t seem to get out of my head. At least once a day, I think of YOU. I rarely ever cross your mind. I can’t stand to think of you, yet I get scared when I forget parts of you. You were so perfect that it scared me. I was so close that it scared you.
You are the one thing that I feel I need to be a better man. You are my angel, my sanity. You are the one thing keeping me from being My OWN man. You’re my albatross, my insanity incarnate. You are both of these and I can’t decide which is truth.
You’re the reason I strive to better myself. You’re the reason I push, and push, and push till I can’t move. Thinking of you makes me reach higher. Talk longer. You bring the Joy to my aspirations. Sometimes, it seems that all that I work, all that I hope to accomplish , is so I have something to share with you at the end of the day. You are why I want to succeed.
You’re the one I hope to prove wrong. You’re the person I want to look at, when all is said and done, say
“ I did it without you.”
You are the one thing that haunts me. The force that chases me, so I have no other choice but to move forward, away from you. Seeing you looking down at me is my greatest fear and my darkest anger. I will die before that happens.
I will never be the one you want. I will never know why…because you have and will never produce the words to tell me. I was your greatest mistake, in all meanings of the word. I will never accept the blame for the walls you put up, but I know it’s all my fault.
You will always be the one I want. You will be my one greatest desire, even when It feels that you’re the last thing I should have. You’re so beautiful and all my thoughts about you are ugly. I hope you fall from grace only so I can catch you and put you back on the pillar where you rightfully belong. I hope you experience pain in your life, yet I have the urge to eliminate ANYONE who might harm you!
When I think of you, I hurt. When you cross my mind, I smile. My heart hurts, my face beams, my fists clench, and my arms open, all at the same time. You drain my spirit. You enrich my soul. You have made me the man I am proud to be. You helped instill in me the very qualities and emotions I guide myself with.
You helped build the monster I have become. Your cold demeanor and your emotionless stance scorned me to the point of no return. You calloused my love for others. You leathered my skin. You took me to the depths and left me for dead. You broke me.
You…thank you. After all this is said, that is what I tell you. You showed me up. You shoved me down. You brought me hate, love, malice, envy, joy, elation…beautiful chaos. Good or bad, you have served as my muse, my one true inspiration. Whether it’s for right or wrong, I move onward because of you.
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