Dear Pop,
Hey, it's me. Adam. I guess you already knew that. So, how are things? Things are fair down here. Again, you probably knew that already. I 'm writing you, Lord, because I'm stuck. I feel trapped in more ways than one and I'm not sure how to break free, so to speak.
I feel trapped in my life. I'm working two jobs just to have food money. I do the same things everyday with no sign of stopping. I have many bad habits, most of which are bad, and I have no urge to break them. I can hardly stay in the same room with half the people I live with, and I'm sure they feel the same. I grow increasingly weary of those around me, thinking they're just dragging me down. My faith in the opposite sex has also dropped a great deal. I find that most of the women I encounter are only enticed by the aesthetic. I mean, I not that bad looking, but, apparently, my long eyelashes and average smile do not make up for the fact that washboard abs and a BMW are not in my possession. I even moved hundreds of miles away to see if this flawed reasoning would go away. As it turns out, the further you get to the Mexican border, the worse it gets.
I miss the things I had just a few years ago. I miss the friends who always held me up when I fell.
I miss the days when we would perform for twenty people in a coffeehouse. I sometimes find myself not sleeping a wink because I can't stop thinking of those days in a wood stove heated house, sharing brownies and talking scripture. I miss the company of certain individuals who never judged me(or at least never told me, which is a help in itself). More importantly, I miss the conversations I had with you when all this was done. We haven't talked in a while, which is why I started this letter, but you already knew that. :)
Here's the thing. I think back to those days and find myself asking what has changed since then. I mean, I know life goes on, but how does one hitch a ride so as not to be left behind? I see others around me living (what appears to be) such happy, fruitful lives. I see the marriages, the kids, the degrees, the good times, even the bad times which always seem to work out. I see them and ask myself " Where do I get some of those?" Well, after asking myself that recently, i came up with an answer. It could very well be the time where I felt the most stupid, since the answer has been right in front of me from the age of seventeen. I stopped asking and started praying. That's right God, I called to you, but you already knew that.:)
I called to you because you were the one thing that had changed. Rather, my relationship with you had changed. See, once I had all those things I now covet, I forgot about you. I forgot about the one who let me have those beautiful times, people, and friendships. I forgot, and just as it always has happened, I slowly lost them. I tried to hang on those everything with no help from you, and I stumbled, dropping it all. I shunned your help when I tried to pick up the pieces, and subsequently, I was never able to pick them all up again. I went through so much pain and heartache as, one by one, they all faded away. I would lay awake at night crying because I was so angry at you for allowing this to happen. Why, God? Why did I deserve this? Huh? I finally became so upset and heartbroken that I said this:
" You know what? I don't need you! You hear me? I'm done!"
Well, as you can tell, that could have possibly been the biggest mistake of my life. After that, I spent far too long living for myself. Almost a slave to myself. Trapped, I guess you could say. The world and all the crap it had to offer was in me and I liked it, at least that's what I thought. The more happy I thought I was, the more I would lay sleepless at night. I still longed for the past and the blessings you gave me, the same ones that I self-destructed out of vengeance. I tried everything to get rid of the pain. I'd tell you what they are, but one of the perks to being all knowing is that I don't have to.
This kept on and on and on and on...until tonight. Tonight was the night when I gave up, Lord. Tonight was the first time in a LONG time I finally saw what actually happened...and I'm so sorry. I now know how foolish I was. How could I push away the one that gives me the strength TO push? The one that blessed me with so much? I'll tell you how. I'm human, and if what you say is true(and I know it is, that wasn't me doubting), than I'm imperfect by birth. I was done from jump street. I was never able to handle this on my own, and I was the only one who didn't see it...
So Lord, I'm asking you to help me out. I hope you can forgive me and see fit to accept my request, because honestly, you're all I've got.:) Help me to pick up the pieces. Not the ones I dropped a few years ago, but the pieces I need to move on, through you. Give me the help I need to walk away from what I'm doing and who I am. Help me see what it is YOU want me to be and guide my steps toward it. I'm pleading to you Pop! I'm not done! I should've never walked away! Just please, don't say " I told you so." Just kidding Lord.:)
I'll end this letter with this. You are my light when I can't see. You're the father that this world didn't want me to have. You've always been there for me, even when I didn't want you there for me. Now that I see you, I can never leave you...I JUST CAN'T.
I love you Pop. Say hi to Grandma, Grandpa, and Tio Tony for me. I can't wait to tell them how my life went after this letter!
Love you Dad.
Your son,
Adam
PS: Do you think you could help me get a wife before thirty? I just don't wanna be past that age and still dating. Kinda creepy. Whatever you're cool with though, no pressure.
@
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
An Old School Mentality
I have an old school type of mentality. I feel like when you go to a party, you're there to have a good time. You wanna dance. You wanna drink a little something. You wanna see about that girl you've been trying to holler at since she came thru your register at work! Mostly, you just wanna forget about the crap that you have to deal with Monday thru Thursday. So, when Friday rolls around, you just let it go. See, that's how I think. Just let it out. I'm slowly figuring out though that it seems to be a fleeting trend.
Now a days, the trends seems to be a little different. The way I see it, if someone asks you to dance, it's a compliment. Either you except it or you don't. Either way, you should feel good about it and let that fuel the good vibes for the rest of the night. Someone thought you were cute, or just thought you looked like a good dancer. That's a win/win! Fast forward to modern times. Instead of going out and dancing with a guy or girl, the thing to do now is to make the person who asked you to dance feel like absolute crap for even ASKING you to dance, let alone expecting them to say yes! You're just sitting there:
" Hey, would you like to dance?"
Nothing. What? They already don't want to dance with you, what makes you think they're gonna acknowledge your feeble existence the first time you ask?
' I'm sorry, I guess I didn't hear you. This music is pretty loud. Wanna come with me for a bit?"
This time, She turns to you like you just said the dumbest thing in the world. Like you wanted to recruit Vern Troyer to the Lakers or something! She turns her head around and looks at you. The look on her face seems to say that she'd rather receive a root canal via a rusty fork from an orthodontist with Parkinson's disease then do the Humpty Dance with you on 80's night.
" …heh , I heard you. I just chose not to respond. Goodbye."
Ouch. Hold up, let me say that again…ouch. THIS IS THE POINT WHERE THE GOOD VIBES OF THE NIGHT HAVE HAD THEIR HINDPARTS HANDED TO THEM BY THE TWO BULLIES OF THE SCHOOL OF POST ADOLESCENCE DATING: SHAME AND REJECTION.
Another thing that I've noticed is the need to consume every intoxicant in sight. Now, I'm not gonna be a hypocrite on this one, I don't mind a drink once in a while, but I just never got the point to imbibe enough alcohol to jump start a Harley. What I hate worse is the fact that most girls EXPECT the guy to buy them to drink. WHAT! Answer me this question sweetie. What reason, other than an blown opinion of yourself and the boots you spent your rent money on, did you give me to buy you another drink in the first place? Again, I have a bit of an old school mentality. I feel that when you buy someone a drink, it's because you took a liking to them. Maybe it was there smile. Maybe it was those ugly, over priced boots. How in the Helen of troy do you come to expect a drink just because some one says hi? C'mon now! Tell you what, instead of buying you a watered down, overpriced appletini, I'll just give you the ten dollars to help you save up to buy some class. I guess that's just where my way of thinking clashes with modern times. I want a girl with class. That might be a bit old school. Maybe even a foreign concept to some, but that's just how I think.
I know what some of you might be thinking. How can you say that? You're just bitter because those girls made you buy her a drink. You're just cheap, that's all.
Uh…YEAH!!!
I HAVE BILLS AND STUFF MAMA!!! I'm not supposed to be out in the first place, budget wise! All I'm saying is if I have to buy a drink to say hello, lord knows what I'll have to spend if I keep socializing with this chick! I'm just thinking fiscally, that's all J
Now ladies, don't think I'm gender biased. I know you guys have it hard. Remember, I'm a man, I know how dumb we are! Even guys reading this right now are nodding there head saying " Yeah, he has a point. We're gonna have to stomp him in a dark alley for saying it, but he has a point."
I know you ladies are sick of half drunk dudes in sport coat/hoodie combinations asking you in a half drunken voice if you listen to The Arcade Fire. Then, in the same breath, asking you if you wanna go to his room "just to talk". You're sick of frat boy d-bags in neon green headbands and shutter shades who smell like Pabts Blue Ribbon quoting the new Soulja Boy track. You've had it with guys vomiting on your bed because they couldn't find the bathroom, while the whole while saying how they're pre-med .
Here's my advice. Stop looking for your dream guy at a mixer! Guaranteed, all you'll find is board shorts and bong water. Unless you're in to that type of thing, then live it up. However, if that isn't your thing, than do like me and start thinking with an old school mentality. Live everyday to the fullest and trust in yourself. I promise you that if you do that, all the resin and the guys that smoke it will soon fade away.
So, as I close up shop for the night, let me leave you with this. One of life's simplest truths is this: you get what you give. If you don't want a girl who expects you to throw down money like Diddy, than stop buying ten Gin and Tonics a night just to get a girl to look at you! On the flipside , if you're sick of faux surfer jack holes grabbing on you at a party, than take into the account that they're attracted to girls who do keg stands and drunkenly sing Gretchen Wilson songs at the top of their lungs! With that, I'll see you guys later. I have to go to this party. I met a really cool girl last week. I bought her(and her friends) Mojitos and she said I was sweet! She invited me to this party and man I'm stoked! I mean, I have to park all the cars and make sure everyone's coats are in safe order, but still! She digs me, although She did think I was Carlos Mencia for a while……
@
Now a days, the trends seems to be a little different. The way I see it, if someone asks you to dance, it's a compliment. Either you except it or you don't. Either way, you should feel good about it and let that fuel the good vibes for the rest of the night. Someone thought you were cute, or just thought you looked like a good dancer. That's a win/win! Fast forward to modern times. Instead of going out and dancing with a guy or girl, the thing to do now is to make the person who asked you to dance feel like absolute crap for even ASKING you to dance, let alone expecting them to say yes! You're just sitting there:
" Hey, would you like to dance?"
Nothing. What? They already don't want to dance with you, what makes you think they're gonna acknowledge your feeble existence the first time you ask?
' I'm sorry, I guess I didn't hear you. This music is pretty loud. Wanna come with me for a bit?"
This time, She turns to you like you just said the dumbest thing in the world. Like you wanted to recruit Vern Troyer to the Lakers or something! She turns her head around and looks at you. The look on her face seems to say that she'd rather receive a root canal via a rusty fork from an orthodontist with Parkinson's disease then do the Humpty Dance with you on 80's night.
" …heh , I heard you. I just chose not to respond. Goodbye."
Ouch. Hold up, let me say that again…ouch. THIS IS THE POINT WHERE THE GOOD VIBES OF THE NIGHT HAVE HAD THEIR HINDPARTS HANDED TO THEM BY THE TWO BULLIES OF THE SCHOOL OF POST ADOLESCENCE DATING: SHAME AND REJECTION.
Another thing that I've noticed is the need to consume every intoxicant in sight. Now, I'm not gonna be a hypocrite on this one, I don't mind a drink once in a while, but I just never got the point to imbibe enough alcohol to jump start a Harley. What I hate worse is the fact that most girls EXPECT the guy to buy them to drink. WHAT! Answer me this question sweetie. What reason, other than an blown opinion of yourself and the boots you spent your rent money on, did you give me to buy you another drink in the first place? Again, I have a bit of an old school mentality. I feel that when you buy someone a drink, it's because you took a liking to them. Maybe it was there smile. Maybe it was those ugly, over priced boots. How in the Helen of troy do you come to expect a drink just because some one says hi? C'mon now! Tell you what, instead of buying you a watered down, overpriced appletini, I'll just give you the ten dollars to help you save up to buy some class. I guess that's just where my way of thinking clashes with modern times. I want a girl with class. That might be a bit old school. Maybe even a foreign concept to some, but that's just how I think.
I know what some of you might be thinking. How can you say that? You're just bitter because those girls made you buy her a drink. You're just cheap, that's all.
Uh…YEAH!!!
I HAVE BILLS AND STUFF MAMA!!! I'm not supposed to be out in the first place, budget wise! All I'm saying is if I have to buy a drink to say hello, lord knows what I'll have to spend if I keep socializing with this chick! I'm just thinking fiscally, that's all J
Now ladies, don't think I'm gender biased. I know you guys have it hard. Remember, I'm a man, I know how dumb we are! Even guys reading this right now are nodding there head saying " Yeah, he has a point. We're gonna have to stomp him in a dark alley for saying it, but he has a point."
I know you ladies are sick of half drunk dudes in sport coat/hoodie combinations asking you in a half drunken voice if you listen to The Arcade Fire. Then, in the same breath, asking you if you wanna go to his room "just to talk". You're sick of frat boy d-bags in neon green headbands and shutter shades who smell like Pabts Blue Ribbon quoting the new Soulja Boy track. You've had it with guys vomiting on your bed because they couldn't find the bathroom, while the whole while saying how they're pre-med .
Here's my advice. Stop looking for your dream guy at a mixer! Guaranteed, all you'll find is board shorts and bong water. Unless you're in to that type of thing, then live it up. However, if that isn't your thing, than do like me and start thinking with an old school mentality. Live everyday to the fullest and trust in yourself. I promise you that if you do that, all the resin and the guys that smoke it will soon fade away.
So, as I close up shop for the night, let me leave you with this. One of life's simplest truths is this: you get what you give. If you don't want a girl who expects you to throw down money like Diddy, than stop buying ten Gin and Tonics a night just to get a girl to look at you! On the flipside , if you're sick of faux surfer jack holes grabbing on you at a party, than take into the account that they're attracted to girls who do keg stands and drunkenly sing Gretchen Wilson songs at the top of their lungs! With that, I'll see you guys later. I have to go to this party. I met a really cool girl last week. I bought her(and her friends) Mojitos and she said I was sweet! She invited me to this party and man I'm stoked! I mean, I have to park all the cars and make sure everyone's coats are in safe order, but still! She digs me, although She did think I was Carlos Mencia for a while……
@
A journey thru the MP3 grapevine
Hello everyone. It's me, every one's favorite chatterbox of Mexican decent.
So, I had this urge to write again. If anyone read my last blog, this next sentence is for you.
YES. I DID WIN THE FIGHT AT THE FLAGPOLE. THE THING IS, THE CREATURE WITH THE ITCH TO WRITE BIT ME IN THE NECK, NOW I'M INFECTED FOR GOOD. CRAP.
Anyway, I've been thinking. As I was looking at the calender, i noticed that my birthday was coming up ( March 20Th for those who choose not to acknowledge those ever so annoying MySpace birthday updates). I had actually forgot that I was turning twenty three this month. I've just been busy with stuff like moving, finding a job, and writing my soon to be comedy act. As I looked at Matt's Spiderman calender, I started to think.Where has my life taken me? More so, who was the guy in the passenger seat for this particular trip? By that, I mean me. C'mon people, keep up. I started to think about myself and who I was. A bit cliche', sure. That doesn't make it any less significant though. I started to contemplate who I was and what I had to offer this spinning rock we live on.
As I was looking at this calender, and the picture of Spiderman fighting The Hulk, I realized that I still had my headphones on and the sounds of Mos Def and Talib Kwali had become silenced by my thoughts. Suddenly, I had this urge to surf my MP3 player. I went from Black Star to Hawk Nelson. From Jay-Z to Bill Withers. Then Seether. Spring Awakening. Madd Caddies. Lily Allen. Jamie Cullum. Metallica. Allison Krause. Mary J. Blige. Imogen Heep. War. The Beatles( for this I am ashamed). Marvin Gaye. Various WWE songs and entrance themes. I stopped on Green Day. The song: When I come Around.
I like this song. It's good, but the notes aren't why I enjoy it. Every time I hear the song I think about the video. It's just Billie Joe, Mike, and Tre' walking on the sidewalk passing people. I always thought that was what a lot of us go through. You know what I'm talking about. Those times when all we want to do is walk and observe the world around us. Some of us do it with the aide of a mocha, an umbrella in the summer, or in my case, n MP3 player and a good set of headphones.
I tend to do this a lot. Even when I had a car, often time I would fore go the convenience of a v6 and a heater, and just walk to my destination. I would drown the world out and dissappear in a world soundtracked by Dr.Dre, The O.C. Supertones and The Fray. Nothing would matter for the ten minutes it took me to get from my place to Round Table, or where ever I was going. I would just walk down the snow covered sidewalk, try not to slip, and nod at everyone going the opposite direction. For some reason, I would always have a smile on my face.
So, back to Spidey and my birthday. As I thought about all the things I'd done, I noticed that I always seemed to think about the stuff I HADN'T done. Become a successful actor. Work for more than Minimum wage. Been a good boyfriend ( on numerous occasions. I find that, most of the time, I'm my own worst enemy in these situations). It had gotten so bad that I wouldn't sleep at night would go for two days without a wink. It was bad.
As Two of Marvel's greatest Heroes stood prone on the wall, locked in combat, I started to...well....let's just say I gave myself the equivalent of a Rudy Ray Moore as Dolomite pimpslap to the my proverbial woman of ill repute. Who did I think I was? WHINING THE WAY I HAD BEEN?! Had I forgotten the things that God had Chosen to bless me with? The family. The friends. The great time with both? C'mon now! Suck it up beaner!
Here's what I came up with.
As I started this blog, I said I was wondering who I was. This is the culmination of all the ramblings and superheroes of this blog. I am Adam James Martinez. I am a Performer. It's in my blood, my soul, my very being. I owe so many of my fondest memories to what I do. From meeting a girl who changed my life forever (remember that time in the truck when , at first, you thought I didn't mean it...) to spending half the night in a rainy, walmart parking lot trying to fix the electricity on a horse trailer carrying you the set for a show that involved rats and homoerotic farm hands( don't ask.). I have spent countless nights painting a set that might not have been done on time otherwise. I've gone to the lake at two am with a face full of stage make up, a six pack, and the urge to relax while braving the cold water .More importantly, I've shared the good and bad with all my friends behind the curtain and on the stage.
I'm also Adam, a loud mouthed kid from the mountains with a vivid imagination and a lack of drive. The perfect mixture for an artsy Molotov cocktail. I was blessed with a stable job and home for four years. All the experiences in the "square chair" gave me the fuel to fill the bottle and the match to decimate whatever came my way.
Lastly, and most important, I'm Adam. Just Adam. I'm a brother and a son to the best family a boy could ever have.How many families do you know that can say there gonna kill you and not have to go to group therapy, huh? That's my clan! My family has been so supportive in all that I do, and very eager to deflate me when I head gets swollen with a pompous mix of helium and self pride. I'll love them dearly for the rest of my days.
As a sort of nightcap, I also offer this. My name is Adam. I'm just a guy who wants to see those around him happy. I get joy from the smile a girl gets when I hit on her in a cheesy way or say she's beautiful because I saw her crying earlier. I'm that guy who will tell you when you're being dumb, but let you know that's natural and not to sweat it. I'm that guy who loves intelligent lyricist like Mos Def and Talib Kweli, but will laugh his tail off while Watching Dumb And Dumber (HARRY...I TOOK CARED OF IT! HAHAHA) I'll love those who show me love, and I'll always be that crying shoulder for those who need. For real.
I guess that's it. I'm sure I lost a few of you along the way, and that's to be expected. For those who stuck around the whole time, thanks for going the long haul with me. I just had to get these thought out.
Well, I think it's time I end this anti-climatic tyraid. If you need me, I'll be the guy walking down the street with his headphones on, rocking out to Stevie Wonder with a smile on his face.
PEACE
@
So, I had this urge to write again. If anyone read my last blog, this next sentence is for you.
YES. I DID WIN THE FIGHT AT THE FLAGPOLE. THE THING IS, THE CREATURE WITH THE ITCH TO WRITE BIT ME IN THE NECK, NOW I'M INFECTED FOR GOOD. CRAP.
Anyway, I've been thinking. As I was looking at the calender, i noticed that my birthday was coming up ( March 20Th for those who choose not to acknowledge those ever so annoying MySpace birthday updates). I had actually forgot that I was turning twenty three this month. I've just been busy with stuff like moving, finding a job, and writing my soon to be comedy act. As I looked at Matt's Spiderman calender, I started to think.Where has my life taken me? More so, who was the guy in the passenger seat for this particular trip? By that, I mean me. C'mon people, keep up. I started to think about myself and who I was. A bit cliche', sure. That doesn't make it any less significant though. I started to contemplate who I was and what I had to offer this spinning rock we live on.
As I was looking at this calender, and the picture of Spiderman fighting The Hulk, I realized that I still had my headphones on and the sounds of Mos Def and Talib Kwali had become silenced by my thoughts. Suddenly, I had this urge to surf my MP3 player. I went from Black Star to Hawk Nelson. From Jay-Z to Bill Withers. Then Seether. Spring Awakening. Madd Caddies. Lily Allen. Jamie Cullum. Metallica. Allison Krause. Mary J. Blige. Imogen Heep. War. The Beatles( for this I am ashamed). Marvin Gaye. Various WWE songs and entrance themes. I stopped on Green Day. The song: When I come Around.
I like this song. It's good, but the notes aren't why I enjoy it. Every time I hear the song I think about the video. It's just Billie Joe, Mike, and Tre' walking on the sidewalk passing people. I always thought that was what a lot of us go through. You know what I'm talking about. Those times when all we want to do is walk and observe the world around us. Some of us do it with the aide of a mocha, an umbrella in the summer, or in my case, n MP3 player and a good set of headphones.
I tend to do this a lot. Even when I had a car, often time I would fore go the convenience of a v6 and a heater, and just walk to my destination. I would drown the world out and dissappear in a world soundtracked by Dr.Dre, The O.C. Supertones and The Fray. Nothing would matter for the ten minutes it took me to get from my place to Round Table, or where ever I was going. I would just walk down the snow covered sidewalk, try not to slip, and nod at everyone going the opposite direction. For some reason, I would always have a smile on my face.
So, back to Spidey and my birthday. As I thought about all the things I'd done, I noticed that I always seemed to think about the stuff I HADN'T done. Become a successful actor. Work for more than Minimum wage. Been a good boyfriend ( on numerous occasions. I find that, most of the time, I'm my own worst enemy in these situations). It had gotten so bad that I wouldn't sleep at night would go for two days without a wink. It was bad.
As Two of Marvel's greatest Heroes stood prone on the wall, locked in combat, I started to...well....let's just say I gave myself the equivalent of a Rudy Ray Moore as Dolomite pimpslap to the my proverbial woman of ill repute. Who did I think I was? WHINING THE WAY I HAD BEEN?! Had I forgotten the things that God had Chosen to bless me with? The family. The friends. The great time with both? C'mon now! Suck it up beaner!
Here's what I came up with.
As I started this blog, I said I was wondering who I was. This is the culmination of all the ramblings and superheroes of this blog. I am Adam James Martinez. I am a Performer. It's in my blood, my soul, my very being. I owe so many of my fondest memories to what I do. From meeting a girl who changed my life forever (remember that time in the truck when , at first, you thought I didn't mean it...) to spending half the night in a rainy, walmart parking lot trying to fix the electricity on a horse trailer carrying you the set for a show that involved rats and homoerotic farm hands( don't ask.). I have spent countless nights painting a set that might not have been done on time otherwise. I've gone to the lake at two am with a face full of stage make up, a six pack, and the urge to relax while braving the cold water .More importantly, I've shared the good and bad with all my friends behind the curtain and on the stage.
I'm also Adam, a loud mouthed kid from the mountains with a vivid imagination and a lack of drive. The perfect mixture for an artsy Molotov cocktail. I was blessed with a stable job and home for four years. All the experiences in the "square chair" gave me the fuel to fill the bottle and the match to decimate whatever came my way.
Lastly, and most important, I'm Adam. Just Adam. I'm a brother and a son to the best family a boy could ever have.How many families do you know that can say there gonna kill you and not have to go to group therapy, huh? That's my clan! My family has been so supportive in all that I do, and very eager to deflate me when I head gets swollen with a pompous mix of helium and self pride. I'll love them dearly for the rest of my days.
As a sort of nightcap, I also offer this. My name is Adam. I'm just a guy who wants to see those around him happy. I get joy from the smile a girl gets when I hit on her in a cheesy way or say she's beautiful because I saw her crying earlier. I'm that guy who will tell you when you're being dumb, but let you know that's natural and not to sweat it. I'm that guy who loves intelligent lyricist like Mos Def and Talib Kweli, but will laugh his tail off while Watching Dumb And Dumber (HARRY...I TOOK CARED OF IT! HAHAHA) I'll love those who show me love, and I'll always be that crying shoulder for those who need. For real.
I guess that's it. I'm sure I lost a few of you along the way, and that's to be expected. For those who stuck around the whole time, thanks for going the long haul with me. I just had to get these thought out.
Well, I think it's time I end this anti-climatic tyraid. If you need me, I'll be the guy walking down the street with his headphones on, rocking out to Stevie Wonder with a smile on his face.
PEACE
@
Cigars, god, and the day aUDACIOUS met Timethius
Hey everyone, it's been a while.
You know that feeling you get when you get the urge to write something down? Well that feeling's older brother just gave me a wedgie and said to meet him at the flagpole at three o'clock.
I just got off the phone with my good friend Tim. Not excited yet? Well keep listening and I might just put a spark in you. See, Tim's been in love with this girl named Auite( another good friend of mine) for the better part of 5 years. We've talked time and time again (Mostly with cigars in hand) about what we want and what we wish God would see fit to grant us. For me, it was true love from a certain girl with a reconstructed jaw(wink wink) and a successful career in show business. Kinda cliche' and a bit selfish, sure, but they were wishes so it's allowed. Tim always had more of a concentrated wish. He wished that a certain girl( Autie, for those that can't take a hint) would see him as more than a friend. Tim cared about Autie deeply. So deep in fact that one time before a Sunday night bible study, we decided to fore go the cookies and scripture in the house and go smoke our cigars and chat instead. We lamented to each other about our wants and all that, while puffing our cheap stogies in the grass.
We've all had that friend who, although we want them to reach their desired goal, just doesn't seem to have what it takes to get there in this lifetime. Tim was different. Every time He mentioned Autie and how much he loved her, You (or at least I) could always see God giving him the one thing He deeply wanted. So you could imagine my joy for my buddy when I received a myspace message with the headline "The cigars worked". A few days after our tobacco escape on the lawn, Tim asked Autie to be his girlfriend, which she accepted. Awesome how God gives us things when we least expect it, isn't it?
Fast forward to the present.
I got a call on my my cell phone a few days ago. I was still asleep so I missed. it. I checked my miss call list to find that Tim had called me. I wondered what he might have wanted, so I check my messages. What I heard literally made me jump, not out, but on to my bed and scream the following...eh hem...
'FRIGGIN AWESOME! HECK YEAH! WOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO! NO FLIPPIN WAY!!!!! NICE!!!
GO SON!!!!
well...you get the point.
The message said that Tim had proposed to Autie. Obviously she accepted, and it was all and all a good-... scratch that, a BLESSED thing. :) I was happy for my friends! Overjoyed in fact! This was something that anyone close to them could see forming and building and just waiting for the right time for God to say" Go get her kid." I was, and still am, abundantly glad that God saw fit for those two to meet and be together. Also, it brought the following thoughts into my head.
WE ALL HAVE, IN SOME FORM OR ANOTHER, A MESSED UP LIFE. Sorry, we live on this earth. This world is not perfect. Neither are we. So in turn neither are our lives. The upside is, if we trust in god (or whatever deity you choose, I just happen to choose the correct one.Wow, I can literally hear the typing of hate full e-mails!) He'll bless us! For Tim and Autie, it was finding that one person who they want to grow old and in love with. For me, it was the pure joy of seeing God at work and the happiness of two of my best friends. To me, that kind of happiness and joy is priceless and doesn't come to often, so bask in it while the baskin's good.
I was gonna write this big blog about My move to Santa Barbara, my going away party, and the starting of my career. However, when the time came, I just didn't feel too motivated to touch fingertip to key. I now realize that those keystrokes were reserved for another, more blessed and meaningful, blog situation.
YES. I am extremely grateful for the love and well wishes I received before I moved, and I love everyone who showed me that. I just think things like Tim and Autie are more worth the mention because they says o much more on the good things life can bring us if we stay faithful and patient. There will be a blog on all the afore mentioned ..."love showings", but for now, I 'm just going to sit in the good vibes that My best friends' are afloat in, and wish them nothing but the best a life together has to offer. I love you guys.
Well, it's three o'clock, and I have to meet a certain feelings older brother and make him pay for my calloused fingertips. Until next time, this is @-bizzlE saying: Never under estimate the power of God, patience, friends, and cheap $1.00 cigars! I'M OUT!
@
You know that feeling you get when you get the urge to write something down? Well that feeling's older brother just gave me a wedgie and said to meet him at the flagpole at three o'clock.
I just got off the phone with my good friend Tim. Not excited yet? Well keep listening and I might just put a spark in you. See, Tim's been in love with this girl named Auite( another good friend of mine) for the better part of 5 years. We've talked time and time again (Mostly with cigars in hand) about what we want and what we wish God would see fit to grant us. For me, it was true love from a certain girl with a reconstructed jaw(wink wink) and a successful career in show business. Kinda cliche' and a bit selfish, sure, but they were wishes so it's allowed. Tim always had more of a concentrated wish. He wished that a certain girl( Autie, for those that can't take a hint) would see him as more than a friend. Tim cared about Autie deeply. So deep in fact that one time before a Sunday night bible study, we decided to fore go the cookies and scripture in the house and go smoke our cigars and chat instead. We lamented to each other about our wants and all that, while puffing our cheap stogies in the grass.
We've all had that friend who, although we want them to reach their desired goal, just doesn't seem to have what it takes to get there in this lifetime. Tim was different. Every time He mentioned Autie and how much he loved her, You (or at least I) could always see God giving him the one thing He deeply wanted. So you could imagine my joy for my buddy when I received a myspace message with the headline "The cigars worked". A few days after our tobacco escape on the lawn, Tim asked Autie to be his girlfriend, which she accepted. Awesome how God gives us things when we least expect it, isn't it?
Fast forward to the present.
I got a call on my my cell phone a few days ago. I was still asleep so I missed. it. I checked my miss call list to find that Tim had called me. I wondered what he might have wanted, so I check my messages. What I heard literally made me jump, not out, but on to my bed and scream the following...eh hem...
'FRIGGIN AWESOME! HECK YEAH! WOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO! NO FLIPPIN WAY!!!!! NICE!!!
GO SON!!!!
well...you get the point.
The message said that Tim had proposed to Autie. Obviously she accepted, and it was all and all a good-... scratch that, a BLESSED thing. :) I was happy for my friends! Overjoyed in fact! This was something that anyone close to them could see forming and building and just waiting for the right time for God to say" Go get her kid." I was, and still am, abundantly glad that God saw fit for those two to meet and be together. Also, it brought the following thoughts into my head.
WE ALL HAVE, IN SOME FORM OR ANOTHER, A MESSED UP LIFE. Sorry, we live on this earth. This world is not perfect. Neither are we. So in turn neither are our lives. The upside is, if we trust in god (or whatever deity you choose, I just happen to choose the correct one.Wow, I can literally hear the typing of hate full e-mails!) He'll bless us! For Tim and Autie, it was finding that one person who they want to grow old and in love with. For me, it was the pure joy of seeing God at work and the happiness of two of my best friends. To me, that kind of happiness and joy is priceless and doesn't come to often, so bask in it while the baskin's good.
I was gonna write this big blog about My move to Santa Barbara, my going away party, and the starting of my career. However, when the time came, I just didn't feel too motivated to touch fingertip to key. I now realize that those keystrokes were reserved for another, more blessed and meaningful, blog situation.
YES. I am extremely grateful for the love and well wishes I received before I moved, and I love everyone who showed me that. I just think things like Tim and Autie are more worth the mention because they says o much more on the good things life can bring us if we stay faithful and patient. There will be a blog on all the afore mentioned ..."love showings", but for now, I 'm just going to sit in the good vibes that My best friends' are afloat in, and wish them nothing but the best a life together has to offer. I love you guys.
Well, it's three o'clock, and I have to meet a certain feelings older brother and make him pay for my calloused fingertips. Until next time, this is @-bizzlE saying: Never under estimate the power of God, patience, friends, and cheap $1.00 cigars! I'M OUT!
@
Lack of Sleep And The Definition of Funny
Hello all. So. it's three in the morning and I can't sleep, so I figured I'd blog for a bit. Lately I've been thinking of the definition of the word funny. Usually, we use it as a way to describe what makes us laugh. I know, I'm stating the extremely obvious, but I felt I needed to say that to emphasize my next point. The word funny is also used to describe something...out of the ordinary. Like when you hear about something a friend did that's a bit out of character, or when you decide something you've wanted for years just doesn't seem to cut it for you anymore. I thought about this yesterday, as well as today, tonight, and as I type. I've been thinking of what I consider, in the latter definition, funny. So, here it goes. In no particular order.Things @-bizzlE finds funny:
* No matter the weather, god will always see fit to send a swift breeze your way whenever you decide to lite a match.
* How, sometimes, you can be penniless, dateless, and starving, yet you still have a smile on your face.
* Getting texts from girls who, when you lived in the same town, wouldn't really give you the time of day. Yet now, when there isn't anyone around to make them feel pretty, say they miss you and can't wait to see you. (Bitter, party of one!)
* How you can love someone so much you would give your life for them, yet you can't bare to be in the same room with them for very long and the thought of them in general makes you feel sad inside.
* How So-cal girls think platinum blonde hair and orange tans are attractive, yet all I think about when I see them is Hulk Hogan circa 1989.
* How you can lose someone you still care about very deeply by screwing up on accident, and they repay you by screwing up on purpose.
* How it's more socialy accepting to be a drug addict then to be a christian.
*How you can travel hundreds of miles to be with someone, only to find out upon arrival, that you've been replaced.
*How a whole room of people can turn against you for not liking the musical "Rent".
*How one of the most relaxing places in the world can be a McDonalds at 11:45pm.
*How, sometimes, an Ipod can take you more places than a passport.
*How you can't spend money when you're making it.
*How you hope your best friend is still your best friend when he comes back from his "tour".
*How you, six roommates, a 6-pack, and a guitar can lead to one of the best memories of your life thus far.
*How you can long for home, but know home will be the death of you.
*How little beaners from the mountains go on spurts of emo.
* How I seem to only be attracted to women who are emotionally unavailable.
* How it costs 500 dollars to go to the ER for a Band-Aid.
* How my incarcarated father eats Quizno's while I eat Ramen flavored with hot sauce.
Lastly...
* How writing a blog, despite gramatical errors, can be one of the most theraputic activities one can engage in. Ithink I'm done. It's late, and I'm sure I've made a few people upset. If that is the case, please call me. I'd rather hear it from you personally than a comment or message.
Also, know that I love you.;)
@
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
